Want what you have

I’ve known this for years now… but seems like along the way I forgot about it. or maybe I haven’t got the true meaning of it.

“Happiness is not having what you want, it is wanting what you have”

I saw this sentence this morning in a blog. Heather, I just love your blog. Just in case you might want to check it out, you can visit her in http://blog.wantingwhatyouhave.com. I think it is funny how I found her blog. I was reading Women by grace, which took me to It’s a wonderful (imperfect) life blog tour, which one of the stops is her blog.

I also realize that over the years I have always count on me. Yes you read correctly…. ON ME. Maybe being the eldest in the family makes me believe that I can do everything by myself. I quote this one from a paragraph by Joan

For years I put myself in an impossible position trying to be perfect all the time. I silently shamed myself; expected too much; crushed creativity; robbed myself of nourishment, fun, sleep, and relaxation; while trying to please others and do everything just right. I let anger turn to resentment, stuffed it down and became depressed. I wronged myself, others and God in the process.

And it came to me…. OMG I am just like her. I have to confess to everyone here… I was a perfectionist, even when it comes to….. relationship.

My last relationship ended really badly. (hmm as I recall all my past relationship ended badly enough, but the last one was the worst). And the worst part was I almost marry him.

Those who read my previous posts will know I had unanswered questions before whether to use my heart or my head. and it kept on going years after years, men after men, time after time… But still I cannot find the answer then.

Why do I have to be perfect? Why do I have to find a perfect partner? Why do I need a perfect job? Why do I want a perfect house? etc…. never ending question.

The answer now lies before me. Want what you have. I have a job, I know it is not perfect, but it is my job. so to be happy I have to want my job. I know God gave me this job for a reason.

I can’t find a perfect house, so I just have to want the house I have. I know there is a reason why I live there.

And for relationship… I know I should let God guide me. God will show me my soulmate in HIS time. NOT my time. I can’t count on me only, I have to count on God. God didn’t ask me to run the universe for Him. He didn’t even ask me to solve people’s problems. He only asked me to love people.

Thank you God for giving me everything I have. 🙂


New Year Resolution

Time flies… It is now the time for me to make another new year resolution.

2009 is just around the corner. within the same week we will arrive there.

Ok here it goes:

1. Get married

Actually this is my resolution from this year, but i haven’t made to accomplish. I hope 2009 will bring me to achieve this goal.

2. Salary above ***

Obviously if I just put a small increase, it would be easy for me to achieve. but now I put a rather impossible target (as usual), and I hope (as usual) the target will come true. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

3. Reduce Weight

Of course I did manage to reduce my weight in 2008, and now that I’m used to it, I think it won’t hurt to loose 2 more kg.

4. Start building my own business

I think I need to put this one, as working is not as convenient as before. I know starting up won’t be easy, so I might start preparing while I’m still working


TOMC stands for Teawalk, Outbound and Mini Camp. The event was held last weekend. December 6 to 8,2008.

Ougway in 2nd post

Ougway in 2nd post

My group was called Ougway. Do you know what kind of animal that is???

At first none of us knew… we were completely blank when we had to come up with jingle.

Turned out, Ougway was the name of character in Kungfu Panda movie. He is the wise turtle, Po’s master. Since then, we use the turtle motto. Slowly but sure. hahahaha

We ended up to be the last team to arrive in 2nd post. (actually in all the posts because we were lost before the 1st post, but still manage to get there the same time as Tiggress)

The Teawalk was fun. Most of the members have something in common. That is their target within 1 to 2 years…. to get married.

Is marriage a really difficult thing to do nowadays? Why would more than 100 singles who want to get married need to gather around for camping like this?

Snow….. White Christmas


I’m dreaming of a white Christmas….

Kayak apa sih yg namanya salju (snow)? Berhubung gue tinggal di Indonesia yang beriklim tropis, blom pernah tuh turun salju di sini. apalagi gue tinggal di Jakarta yg panas, bukan di pegunungan.

The picture above was from a friend of mine who lives in Switzerland. It was taken recently, just before Christmas in Switzerland.

I always wonder how it feels… (snow I mean) must be really cold 🙂 I like going to the mountains (in Indonesia) rather than the beaches, but still the snow would be… far far colder than that….

One day I’m sure I can touch it 🙂

The secret is working!!!

Wow! I never thought that watching ‘the secret’ does actually turn my life around. Everything is soo beautiful now. For the first time in my life (hmm… let me think, have this happened before?) I have a mutual feeling with a man. (Yes on second thought… this is the first time, usually either I or he have different feeling).  And he told me last night.

Christmas is in the air

Merry Christmas everybody…..

Christmas is in the air. I know that Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, so when we attend a birthday party, we should be the one to bring (give) presents. But why do we want presents on Christmas????

I had a wish for Christmas, and I almost had it…. well or so I thought. But now I realize that the most important gift would be Jesus. His birth is the greatest gift of all… and so do I need any other gift???

I also need to give presents on His birthday…. That would be Me and my heart to God….