- Has my relationship with him brought me closer to God?
- Can I see myself marrying him?
- Would I like my children to grow up to be just like him?
- Am I dating to discern marriage?
- Do my parents approve of him?
- Is he 100 percent faithful?
- Do I feel safe, honored, and respected around him?
- Is he clean of any drug, alcohol, or pornography problems?
- Has this relationship helped me to become the woman I hope to be?
- Does he bring out the best in me?
- Does he respect my purity?
- Does he love God more than he loves pleasure?
- Can I honestly say that the relationship is emotionally, physically, spiritually, and psychologically healthy?
- Has the relationship brought me closer to my family and other friends?
Ideally, you should be able to announce an emphatic “yes!” to all of the above questions. The more negative answers you have, the more reason you have to think twice about the relationship.
If the guy has some major issues, do not move toward marriage expecting these issues to resolve themselves over time. This is denial. If he treats you disrespectfully, lovingly confront his behavior. If he listens, apologizes, accepts responsibility, and works to correct the behavior, then he is making progress. If not, then do not harbor false hope.