Want what you have

I’ve known this for years now… but seems like along the way I forgot about it. or maybe I haven’t got the true meaning of it.

“Happiness is not having what you want, it is wanting what you have”

I saw this sentence this morning in a blog. Heather, I just love your blog. Just in case you might want to check it out, you can visit her in http://blog.wantingwhatyouhave.com. I think it is funny how I found her blog. I was reading Women by grace, which took me to It’s a wonderful (imperfect) life blog tour, which one of the stops is her blog.

I also realize that over the years I have always count on me. Yes you read correctly…. ON ME. Maybe being the eldest in the family makes me believe that I can do everything by myself. I quote this one from a paragraph by Joan

For years I put myself in an impossible position trying to be perfect all the time. I silently shamed myself; expected too much; crushed creativity; robbed myself of nourishment, fun, sleep, and relaxation; while trying to please others and do everything just right. I let anger turn to resentment, stuffed it down and became depressed. I wronged myself, others and God in the process.

And it came to me…. OMG I am just like her. I have to confess to everyone here… I was a perfectionist, even when it comes to….. relationship.

My last relationship ended really badly. (hmm as I recall all my past relationship ended badly enough, but the last one was the worst). And the worst part was I almost marry him.

Those who read my previous posts will know I had unanswered questions before whether to use my heart or my head. and it kept on going years after years, men after men, time after time… But still I cannot find the answer then.

Why do I have to be perfect? Why do I have to find a perfect partner? Why do I need a perfect job? Why do I want a perfect house? etc…. never ending question.

The answer now lies before me. Want what you have. I have a job, I know it is not perfect, but it is my job. so to be happy I have to want my job. I know God gave me this job for a reason.

I can’t find a perfect house, so I just have to want the house I have. I know there is a reason why I live there.

And for relationship… I know I should let God guide me. God will show me my soulmate in HIS time. NOT my time. I can’t count on me only, I have to count on God. God didn’t ask me to run the universe for Him. He didn’t even ask me to solve people’s problems. He only asked me to love people.

Thank you God for giving me everything I have.🙂

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