Looking for Mr. Right

Who is Mr. Right? That would be someone you will spend your lifetime looking for. In your conquest in finding Mr. Right, it is inevitable that hearts will be broken and people will get hurt. I will summarize my adventure in short…..

The whole thing started back in 1992 where I met this “perfect” guy at school. D is like anything you want in a man… Good looking, smart, macho, and his best part was his eyes… They are sort of between brown and blue…. really cool. Once you set your eyes on his, you will be lost in them. I spent 3 years admiring him….. cannot say anything to him about it. He had this bad quality…. Materialistic…. He even dated this ugly girl just for her money. (Maybe because he came from this poor family)

D motivated me in getting good job (see my other page, Career Development), whereas he himself did not get any good job (up to 2 years ago).

In 1995 I met this gorgeous guy at school, again did not have the courage to say anything to him. He was almost the same as D, but the difference was he had money. He belonged to the rich family. But he was far from smart….. He graduated from High School in his mid 20s.

2001 was like a turning point. I had 2 choices H and F. (see my blog: follow your heart or your head). And then I chose F to follow my head (which is the most logical choice at that time). I did have the chance to speak up this time…. but with no good result. Actually I should follow God. F was an atheist, I should’ve known he wasn’t God send.

F was the reason of my turning point. after what happened, I decided to join the lector community in church (you know the people who read the bible in front of the church during sunday mass). And so during the training, I realized that God is the only man who will not leave no matter what.

I decided to go the ’safe’ way. I tried using online dating facilities. I thought it was safer, as you can filter the candidates, and did not involve personaly at first. But then I was wrong….. asianfriendfinder, friendster, penpal.net, penpal garden, lovehappens, happymarriage, marryandkiss, asianeuro, tagged, soulmate, etc. you name it. I’ve tried almost every single online dating or personal ads, or something like that. It is quite easy actually, you just put your criteria, and the cupid (the search engine from the website) will do the work for you.

The period of 2002-2006 I had more than 10 blind dates (with different people). Some went ok, some went wrong. I did not get any Mr. Right, but lots of Mr. Wrong….

Like what people said, all the good guys are either taken or gay.

I had LDR in 2002….. I actually waited for J for 3 years (more or less), I didn’t know what went wrong….. Things were great at first (but all relationships do start that way), but then things felt…….. plain. The feeling was just not there anymore. The fact that he did not do any attempts to win my heart just making it worse….

J was the turning point where I decided to take my master degree (without telling him, as he did not approve of it). He only found out about it after my graduation. (I put my graduation picture on friendster)

Mid 2005 I attended this retreat called “The Journey”. It was really good… and with good result too. I had great career and I met a wonderful man (or boy perhaps). D was still childish, you cannot call him man. He was the most cheerful person I’ve known. No matter what the problem was, he can still smile and make fun of it. It showed his lack of responsibility. I had to turn him down, as he would ruin my career. His attitude problem was something the company cannot handle. and so he resigned from the company (and my life) in 2006. 

2006 was the craziest year. I dated 3 men (not at the same time), but none were qualified to proceed to next level. The first one was D (D again? I tend to date people with same initial). I met him in friendster, well, he found me I guess… We dated few months, but then something happened (dealing with my belief, etc) and I had no other choice but to end it.

The second one was H. This is the only guy I’ve dated who had the same goal…. that is marriage. All the other guys were only after dating or relationship stage, but none had this goal. I met him from online chatting ‘Skype’. I had to break up with him for a reason. ( I don’t know if I will regret having made the decision)

The third one was A. This was really really wrong. Everything was soooo wrong about him. He drinks, has tatoo all over his body (3 I guess), and he is married….. The last one was unnegotiable. He was married with 2 kids, although he claimed to be separated from his wife, that still did not make him single. I met him in lovehappens.

After ending the relationship with A in a hard way. (I had to do screening… I hate it) I joined this camping for catholic employee thing. I figured I don’t have any more energy to spend my holiday crying for what happened… or to find another Mr. Right. During the Camping, I met this cute guy V. Do you believe in love at first sight? I thought this was one…. I went out twice with V in 2007, but nothing happens. we are still friends up to now.

Early 2007, I had fed up using the dating service. But I figured I will try for one last time. I met K in lovehappens. He told me he was in the process of finding a wife to get married next year (in 2008). I thought he was serious. Actually he was serious about his intention. But I wasn’t the chosen one. He choose another girl ‘I’ to be his wife. He notified me about his wedding on our lunch date. He celebrated the wedding in 2007, not 2008. (I wonder why???) He did not invite me to the wedding. . He told me that he always considered me as a good sister. (sisters go to their brothers’ wedding, right? there must be a reason why he did not invite me). But how he ended the relationship was the worst…

I don’t think I can survive another failure after this… So I decided to stop the online dating service, and rejected several dates. But I met a nice guy IRL. I’m sooo glad I moved to this new office. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have met S. He was so nice, and everything you can dream of. Nice, Caring, full of attention and sympathy…. and yet good looking. (He can cook too….) what more can you ask for in a man?

That is untill he revealed his dark secret….. You can never tell by his appearance. Turned out he smokes, drinks, has tatoos and the worst part … gambles. I don’t know if I could live with that. He comes from a gambling family. His house was a casino, his late father gambled, his late uncles were bookies and once did their time in prison. All of them died in 2007. He told me he had come clean now…. But I’m not so sure. I think it is in his blood… But then I still don’t know whether he would be my Mr. Right???

We’ve splitted up. I don’t think he is the one for me… too many dark secrets, too many problems… Can you imagine that we’ve been together for only very short time… usually people see only the good signs during the first year, but i’ve seen horrible things within the first few months. I cannot imagine what will happen after the first year.

Still searching for my soulmate out there… are you the one?